Being that it’s more than halfway over, I’ve decided it’s finally time to decide this summer’s theme. It’s an important thing, a summer’s theme. It has the ability to give the season an overall feel. It can paint memories with a pleasant dye of heartfelt nostalgia. And it can literally sway decisions on a wavering/stagnant afternoon. You can take a picture of your friends as they lay on top of some inanimate object, pretending to be a board; you can surprise your buddy with a sweet and feminine beverage, then demand he chug the entire thing while on one knee;
Or you can put in a Ska CD and party really really hard.
Introducing— Summer of Ska 2012—–
Venice Beach, 1996.
So here’s actually what just happened..I’ll tell you the truth before I start thumbing out horseshit that I just read and pretending I know dick about the history of Ska. I just google’d the question ‘what happened to ska music’ and the most popular choice on Yahoo! answers was the following piece of inspired prose.
‘all the ska zombies woke up’ ——- Best Answer Chosen By Voters
Implying that all the people who liked ska were actually just Zombie’s walking around and pretending to be humans, living life and loving ska music. Then one day, they all woke up and were like ‘wtf am I doing’ and agreed that the music sucked and promptly stopped listening to it. Headlines read,
“Fans of Ska Awake from Zombaic Coma: Genre Dies”
Yeah, not sure about that one, PenyDred. That’s the guy’s awesome username who submitted that ludicrous theory. Fitting name for the author of such a moronic idea. Ska Zombies. Honestly.
Did I mention both the question and answer were submitted OVER FOUR YEARS AGO. People were wondering where it went in 2008. That means it’s now completely dead. It’s children are dead. It’s as if the genre and all it’s closely related family members died in an middle-of-the-night house fire and now we’ve fast forwarded several generations and everyone has forgotten it ever existed in the first place. And again, if your one of those people who are still super informed on all this, gimme some slack.
“No one has forgotten about Ska, you ill-informed, condescending dunce. It’s just rid itself of fake fans like you.”
Yeah well either way, no one listens to it anymore.
I digress. What we have listed below is a handful of reasons that support the Summer of Ska.
1. Lyrical Simplicity
Almost to the point of stupidity. But not quite. There’s a tightrope strung taught in between the highly cryptic/contemplative poems of the technical and sometimes pretentious artists, and the big-foreheaded, slobber inducing coloring books that we see pretty regularly from current musicians. The area in between is called relatability. And you’ll find that our hero, the ska genre, has it in spades. Also, none of the songs are over 2 minutes long, so we don’t get that, ‘dude check out this song’ and its a fucking 6 minute song. From drinking beers with the boys, to ruining friendships, to getting girls – Ska tells our stories.
‘I can’t get enough/im not satisfied/ive wasted my time with this daily grind’
2. Quality Memories
We’re talking heavy doses of nostalgia. You know that hot girl down the street burned you a CD in 8th grade and it had a lil’ Reel Big Fish for ya. Bunch of little drawings on the CD that are all one big piece of innuendo, like ‘You still owe me a cd!!! : D’ And you know she kinda wanted it. You throw on that song and automatically you’re thinking about her like, ‘DAMNIT SHE WAS HOT’ Between that and the summer time shenanigans we all experienced in years 15-20, you’ll have plenty to smile about.
3. It’s a quality listen. Suns out, boats in the water, beers on ice. The missing piece of this 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle? A Less Than Jake CD. That sun starts cookin’ and the brass starts chirpin’. Snap open a Keystone and embrace that summer energy. Drink it quickly and open another. Turn it up and thrash around a little bit. Hell, push someone. Who cares, its the Summer of Ska 2012 and we’re living in the here and now. And we’re having the time of our lives.
Not sure why I chose ‘it’s a quality listen’ as my final point. It’s by far the weakest.
CHECK THAT NO ITS NOT