GOODBYE BEN SCRIVENS

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Ben Scrivens was traded to Edmonton today for a third round draft pick. Yes, it happened and sadly it makes sense. Scrivens would be an UFA after this season, and we can all trust Dean Lombardi when it comes to these types of decisions. Sell high on the goalies. Ben stepped up to the plate when Quick iced his balls for 2 months and he did so with unheralded suaveness. He played a total of 19 games, and was 7-5-4 with a 1.97 GAA and a .931 SVP…which means save percentage, not scott van pelt, whom i adore. Scrivens was the 4th goalie in franchise history to notch a no-hitter in his first start for the team. He was the first King to tally back-to-back road shutouts.

JUST LISTEN TO THOSE STATS I STOLE FROM A NEWS ARTICLE. THEY’RE BLOWING MY MIND.

Because deep down, in the juicy ventricular walls of my presumed healthy heart…i love Ben Scrivens. And his stupid side-part. Because he was the hand that speared into the icy waters of fear and pulled me out of limbo. And he did it with such elegance. He did it with a certain, ‘why are you worried’ mentality that injected comfort into the veins of an anxious fan like a hot load of China White heroin.

A King Without a Crown.

Screen Shot 2014-01-15 at 10.39.08 PMBut now he’s gone. Disappeared. A shadow in the ignorance of hot afternoon heat, but the sun has set on the side-part. Slowly sinking behind the Santa Monica mountains, and pushing a dark carpet over the legend of Ben Scrivens. Shaking hands and bowing as he slowly backpedals through that door, i’m sure. Polite as ever, thanking any and everyone who believed in him; everyone involved in the trade; everyone who gave him a chance. Begging anyone in the room to act like they’re not devastated as the door quietly clicks shut.

His legacy now lives on through the stories of his quick glove,¬†historic video bombs¬†behind that human canker-sore named Patrick O’Neil, and of course…the hair. Always the hair. Immediately ignoring the tradition of the backup-wears-a-team-hat-on-the-sideline..Scrivens started his kings campaign with gusto. I feel ashamed to have been surprised by his interstellar play. So here’s goodbye to Benjamin Scrivens, the cedric diggory of a truly gryffindor-esque franchise, and the hero of what ultimately may become another successful season in Tinsel Town.

Keep in mind that throughout this entire post, i’ve been listening to Matisyahu, and have discovered he’s recently released some absolute FUEGO. Started with King Without a Crown, and I only played it 3 times before moving on to something else. Thats saying something. Listen to this shit! Looks like he shaved the trademark’d jew-beard. Thaaaaat appears to have been a horrible decision. And very possibly the reason this song/video never really took off. 6 million views? I’ve never heard of it.

One of the worst music videos i’ve ever seen. But blast it regardless.

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