Music Video Breakdown: How to be The Man – Riff Raff ft Slim Thug & Paul Wall

So the time has finally come. Riff Raff, that ridiculous white guy with the crazy corn rows/ zigzag chinstrap we’ve all been seeing more and more of during this past year, is finally about to release his debut album – Neon Icon. Keep in mind it’s original release date was the early fall of ’13. It’s now summer of ’14 and we’re ALL STILL DROOLING FOR IT. That’s because we’re all idiots, and Riff Raff along with his mentor/friend/puppet master, Diplo, know it. They’ve strung us along like a group of quivering baseheads…dropping crack rocks in the form of singles every couple of miles/months. We pick them up, (find the song) load them in our filthy little crack pipes (stream them via a number of different music sources e.g. spotify, grooveshark, torrents, pandora), smoke the shit out of them, (listen) and then talk about crazy new business ideas (gossip about how riff raff ‘is actually kinda sick’). Soon enough it’s been a little while since we’ve gotten that rush, and we’re peeling off our own skin, biting through our cheeks, and screaming like a pack of famished banshees.

ENOUGH OF THOSE STUPID METAPHORS YOU IMBECILE

But honestly….How does he do it? Look at this fucking guy.

RiFFRAFF640

Riff recently released a music video for one of the aforementioned singles, How to Be The Man. There are two versions of the song: one with just Riff, and the other featuring his hometown homies – Houston rappers, Paul Wall & Slim Thug. The latter version is way cooler, and is the version of the video we will be discussing. I’d also like to add that after evaluating the track-list, this song is very important. I fear that people are beginning to forget that Riff Raff is from Houston, and that Houston rappers have their own niche in this universe we call rap music. This track will do well in jogging these kids MINDS.

so lets go.

We get started with Riff and his homies (Slim Thug/Paul Wall) getting familiar in a shopping mall parking lot. It looks like a fairly shitty shopping mall, and is completely empty. It may even be an abandoned facility, which is an extremely boss area to hang out in. Also keep in mind that throughout this post, I will be using the term ‘boss’ at an obnoxious rate. So they’re chilling, Riff shows up in a blacked out Lambo, Slim in a drop top Rolls Royce, and Wall in some sort of old school red thing with crazy rims. All fall into the category of extreme-boss-wagons.

Let’s discuss the hook, which is seemingly repeated 8 thousand times before the first verse.

Show you how to be man, how to be the boss
How to come through with seven coats of the gloss
Show you how to be man, show you how to be man
Show you how to be man, how to be the boss
How to buy the car, how to buy the house
Show you how to be man, show you how to be man

I’ll remind you that when I first heard this song, I thought Riff was saying he’ll show up in 7 coats. Like 7 seperate coats that he can change in and out of throughout the night. I was like, ‘fuck. that is boss.’ Then I realized he was talking about 7 coats of glossy paint on his whip, which is also boss, but not really in the same realm of boss as just showing up to a party with 7 different coats.

Slim Thug (aka Slim Thugga…Motha Fucka) takes the first verse.

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I could show you how to be the boss

Well. Not the most creative of first lines, seeing as it’s already been said in the hook several times, but it helps to know that Slim Thug has released about 10 albums, all of which contain the word ‘boss’ somewhere in title. Which is what he’s referring to here. It actually may be some propaganda-infused message in a feeble attempt to steer Riff’s crazed fans toward his own discography. That will absolutely not work here, Slim Thug. These fans are not the type to pick up on subliminal messages that you’ve wittily hidden in your piece of shit verse.

Whippin on the wood in that cocaine mercedes,
could buy another Mulsanne if I sold my chain

The first half of this I dont entirely understand, but the second half is 100% boss. Mulsanne is a model of Bentley manufactured until the early 90s. That sort of shit is maaad expensive if we’re talking about it in 2014. In mint MF condish? Get real. Shit is hot. I’d also like to point out that Slim Thug is wearing a Bentley shirt that says ‘Boss Life’ while he’s driving a Rolls Royce.  I saw someone complaining in the comments section about this. That commenter has shit for brains, because driving a Rolls Royce and wearing a Bentley shirt that says ‘Boss Life’ is an eclectic, seemingly brand clashing combination that he will never understand, because he is not in the same galaxy as Slim Thug, in terms of being an actual boss. But keep hating ‘wassupMANNN’ and take some notes you dipshit.

RIFF is up next.

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Riff takes a lot of flak for being an idiot, which he inherently is, but his lyrics are actually extremely creative in terms of lyrical diversity. Yeah, he talks about all the dumb shit everyone else does, but he brings a different approach to ‘being gangster’. It’s idiotic, laughable, and…extremely refreshing.

The candy grey Mercedes, I sold it at an auction
Rap Game Sadie Hawkins, got a ticket for jay-walking

Rap game Sadie Hawkins? That, my good friends, is what i’m talking about. For all of you boarding/private school wack-jobs losers, Sadie Hawkins is the best high school dance of the year, in which the girls have to ask the guys. It’s a total role reversal, and it’s totally weird and awesome. JUST LIKE RIFF RAFF. It also means that females flock to Riff. And by the way, he got a fucking jay-walking ticket…either at the dance or after he sold his candy grey Mercedes. Guess what fucking sucks? Jay walking tickets.

Listen folks, I want to hate on this guy but this verse is making it verrrrry difficult. It’s straight fuego town through and through.

You could show me love, or you can get lost

That line is covered in the Houston style that we all love and Riff delivers it dripping in gold. It really does describe Riff; you either love this guy, or he is a blabbering idiot that you dont understand…and his fame makes you question not only everything in hiphop, but in the entire music industry.

One problem I do have is with a few of the females cast in this video. Seems like maybe a few models called in sick and we had to deal with a couple of B-listers. But hey! What can ya do?!

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Paul Wall finishes the track, and delivers the same sort of verse that he always does. Good enough to make you say, ‘damn paul wall is actually pretty good’…but not good enough for you to actually look into his solo shit. And if it is, you last about 2 tracks before going in another direction…hopefully toward Chamillionaire.

bc he is a mega boss.

 

 

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