The NCAA football game. It’s popular. People enjoy playing it. The EA franchise invests millions upon millions of dollars in the gaming market’s only, and therefor most popular college football game. In one month alone, EA sold nearly 1,000,000 copies of NCAA 2011. How about that.
But this post isn’t about some stupid ass video game. It’s about some choad who somehow ended up on the cover in 2008.
His name is Jared Zabransky, and he’s an inbred, meth-smoking hillbilly. Granted, he did lead the Boise State Broncos to a BCS victory over Oklahoma in the 2007 Fiesta Bowl. And by lead I mean he threw a pick 6 with like, a minute left in regulation to give to the Sooners a 35-28 advantage. Then Dumbledore showed up and Petrificus Totalus’ed everyones’ ass while Zabransky and the Broncos pushed the game into OT with a 50 yard hook-and-lateral play that was actually pretty fucking awesome. You know the story, you saw the game. Adrian Peterson ripped off a 25 yard td on the first play of overtime, but it was all for naught as the Broncos won the game on a ridiculous 1-2 punch involving a halfback pass, and something called the ‘Statue of Liberty’.
But ‘Z’ had nothing to do with those last two plays. Yeah. His nickname is ‘Z’. His nickname is Z because he has an enormous ‘Z’ tatoo’d on his right arm. He also has chops and a fu-manchu. He’s also a ginger. Sick, huh.
But his performance was admirable enough to earn him a post-game interview on national television. Annnnnnd it was really, really funny. Bad idea for Fox to send that poor woman down there so Zabransky could show the entire country how low his IQ really is. Check that, it was a fabulous idea. Most viewers were shocked at by his blatant stupidity. Unfortunately I can’t find it anywhere, but lucky for you, I’ve found an exact duplicate of the interview…
So the guy had a pretty good game. I’ll give him that. But the fun doesn’t stop with that 2007 ‘Dream Season.’ Later that year Z throws a massive party at his house for the NFL draft. It’s in the Idaho Statesman, ‘BSU quarterback Jared Zabransky to throw NFL draft party in hopes of getting a call’. I’m sure it was a great party…
UNTIL HE NEVER GOT A CALL.
Yeah. Z throws a banger at his pad for the draft, and doesn’t even fucking get drafted. After he said this to EA Sports,
EA SPORTS: A number of the past EA SPORTS NCAA Football cover athletes have moved on to have successful NFL careers. Do you see yourself following in their footsteps?
Jared Zabransky: I think so. I think I can be a guy that can go in and make an impact right away. I think with my athleticism, I can be utilized in the first year as opposed to a lot of other quarterbacks who come in and they really have one position they can play and thats quarterback. I feel that I can come and help a franchise right away and do some different things.
That makes him only the second athlete ever be featured on the cover of the game that wasn’t drafted. Priceless. At least his tats looks awesome on the cover. So the obvious question becomes, “What is Jared Zabransky doing right now?”
Truth is, I don’t know. Last I heard he was the third string quarterback for the Edmonton Eskimos. I repeat, The Edmonton Eskimos. If I were to guess, he’s probably crybating in his Boise State jersey while he watches the 2007 Fiesta Bowl highlights.
I know he bought the dvd.
Go get em, Z.