I’m a 23 year-old male looking for a job. Nothing more at this point. My life has funneled down to that. A job search. I’ve been interviewed, ignored, considered, rejected, frowned upon, forgotten and just blanketed with excuses as to why nothing’s come through yet. I’m twiddling my thumbs and smiling in comfortably-lit waiting rooms; I’m furrowing my brow over online classifieds; I’m getting excited about nothing and getting pissed off about everything. I’m from Idaho but I live in California, I’m terrible with commas, and I think it’s time to start talking shit.
I’ve been told so many things. It’s all about hard work. It’s all about persistence. It’s about nothing other than whom you know. Let me tell you that of all things I’ve heard, that one is by far the most prevalent.
“Hey man, honestly, nothing matters. Nothing at all. Except for one thing. Who you know. It’s ALL ABOUT WHO YOU KNOW.”
“Honestly dude, fuck an internship. Networking my man.”
“Hey my mom used to date a guy who started in the mail room. I’ll shoot you his email.”
Thanks dude. Appreciate it. I’m sure the guy your mom USED to date is going to help ME get a sick gig in Beverly Hills. I’ll quit my job right now. Throw it all away. I’m banking on this guy. Thanks dude. Sure, it’s a nice gesture and I appreciate it. But it’s not going to amount to anything. Realize that I hear that everyday and save it. I’ve been out of school for about 3 months now and haven’t a clue where I’ll be this fall. I’m running out of money and patience. I have a job, don’t get me wrong, but my co-workers aren’t Yale and NYU grads. Most of them didn’t go to college. Half of them did, but didn’t finish. Some are twice my age. The rest don’t speak English. All of them tell me what to do. That’s about all I’ve got on my current employment. Look for more as we move forward.
Don’t come here looking for some early morning, glassy-lake prose alright? I’m gonna throw it at you. Big Randy Johnson guy, I am. I’m gonna come home and blast this thing. Blitz it. It’s gonna be x-rated. It’s gonna be heavy. It’s gonna probably be scary at times. I just graduated and keep watching my best friends sign six figure contracts at big-shot firms all over this country. Not this guy. Not here. Definitely not now.
I’m all over the place.